Socialising in reception
Image: A primary school age boy running and smiling, holding a soft toy.
At the top of the list are worries about how easy it will be for your child to find their feet and settle into an unfamiliar setting, deal with a whole range of new people, emotions and situations, and most importantly make some friends. But help is at hand and our expert webinar facilitator, Lisa McCleod, has outlined some of her top tips to make this all important first year run as smoothly as possible.
How do I best support my child to build friendships in reception if they have not attended the pre-school or local feeder?
Helping children to build friends requires patience, understanding, effort and practice. Lay the foundations for good friendships by talking about what makes a good friend. Try talking about someone who is fun to be with, lets you be yourself, listens, takes turns and is kind. Discuss who and what makes them happy, so you can gently steer them in the right direction. School will be on the look-out for children who can buddy together and offer plenty of opportunities for partner and small group work as well as social interaction. By all means ask for suggestions of potential friends and arrange meet ups in a non-threatening environment, but try and not force friendships and remember that there is no right or wrong number of friends.
How can I help my child to successfully join in a game or find a partner?
It can be helpful to observe how your child likes to play. Do they rush in and try and take charge and change the game or hold back unsure? Giving your child the right words to use in a situation will help enormously. Often children do not know how to successfully join in because they just don’t know what to say.
There are a variety of different approaches that you can practise with them.
Ask to join in
“Can I play too?” or “Can I be your partner as that looks like so much fun?”
Offer to include someone else so they join in rather than you asking them
“You can play with me if you want to, and be my partner as it will be much more fun with you.”
Share your similarities
“I really like sitting next to you’ or ‘It’s really fun being your partner.”
Be open and vulnerable
“I don’t have a place to sit, so can I sit here?” or “I don’t have a partner, do you?”
It’s also worth practising how to reply if someone doesn’t want to play. Phrases such as “that’s okay, maybe another time” or “let me know if you want to play again” come to mind.
How to ask to play along
Choosing one or two children to ask rather than a group can be easier, but how do you know who to ask? Help your child to look for clues like a smile or a look that shows they are open to approach. It is important to remember though that just because your child is shy, does not mean that they are necessarily lonely.
What do I say if my child feels excluded?
If your child feels excluded, then it’s important to listen, empathise and help them to process their feelings. Whilst it’s natural to feel upset yourself, try and establish if it is a one-off rejection or an ongoing issue as it’s easy for children to forget all the fun they have actually had and focus on one incident. Avoid overreacting and try and teach them how to cope with the situation if it happens again so they have the words and skills for the future.
Starting school is a big step, and friendships take time to grow. By modelling kindness, practising social phrases, and celebrating small wins, you’re helping your child build confidence and feel part of their new community.
Join us next week, when Lisa explores how to navigate playground arguments, confusing or exaggerated stories, and the all-important skills of taking turns and sharing.
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