How to help your child become an independent learner
Image: A dad and his primary school-age son sitting at a desk, smiling — dad is helping son to write on a notepad.
Encouraging a can-do attitude
Your words and attitude towards learning have a powerful impact on your child. Avoid phrases like ‘I’m rubbish at maths’, which can unintentionally discourage them. Instead, foster a mindset of possibility: if your child says, ‘I can’t do this,’ help them reframe it to ‘I can do this, I just need some help,’ or ‘I can’t do this, yet.’
This simple shift strengthens self-belief, a crucial first step in becoming an independent learner. When children believe they can succeed, they are more likely to take initiative and persevere through challenges.
Equipping your child to handle challenges
Learning often comes with moments of discomfort, whether it’s reading aloud in class or tackling a tricky math problem. These challenges can trigger strong emotions that interfere with thinking and focus.
You can help your child develop self-regulation skills to calm themselves and stay engaged:
- Calm breathing: Encourage them to take long, deep breaths as if blowing out candles.
- Grounding techniques: The 5,4,3,2,1 method is an effective way to reconnect with the present moment.
Providing these tools helps your child navigate obstacles independently, allowing them to return to the learning process with a clear and focused mind.
Teaching the importance of failing
Many children feel pressured to get things right immediately, but mistakes are a vital part of learning. Encourage a healthy view of failure:
- Explain that FAIL means First Attempt In Learning.
- During family check-ins, ask them about one way they failed that week. This normalises mistakes and reduces fear, making them more willing to try new things.
Praise effort, not ability
Focusing on effort rather than innate skill teaches children that improvement comes through practice and persistence. When children see the connection between hard work and progress, they are more likely to take responsibility for their learning, try new approaches, and build independence.
Releasing your child’s potential
Every child has untapped potential. To help them reach it, encourage these habits:
- Active involvement: Engage in learning rather than being a passive observer.
- Ownership: Take responsibility for figuring out what learning strategies work best.
- Independent improvement: Work consistently to refine skills and knowledge.
By nurturing these behaviours, your child will not only master subjects but also gain the confidence and resilience to tackle future challenges independently.
Helping your child become an independent learner is a gradual process, but with encouragement, the right mindset and practical strategies, they can develop the skills and confidence to thrive both academically and personally.
With thanks to Liz Keable for her webinar on Helping your child become an independent learner.
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