Parenting styles: What is yours? And why does it matter?

There are many different parenting styles; some parents are strict, while others are softer in their approach. Some may have lots of rules, others less so. Some are overprotective, others enjoy giving their children maximum freedom. 

How we parent is shaped by our own experiences, beliefs and the pressures of daily life, but research shows clear patterns in the ways parents tend to approach this role.

Different parenting styles have traditionally been described as: 

Authoritarian parenting

A style of parenting where adults emphasise obedience and structure, often without explanation. Parents might use phrases such as: ​‘Because I said so,’ to strictly enforce rules and offer limited emotional warmth. Sometimes it can involve physical or verbal abuse and children might experience feeling belittled, humiliated or shamed. 

When children are parented in this way, they might learn to follow rules, but can experience lower self-esteem, poor emotional regulation and higher levels of stress. 

Permissive parenting

A style of parenting where adults are warm and nurturing but don’t like setting limits. In this home, children are often allowed to ​‘rule the roost’. The parent may act more as a ​‘friend’ than an authority figure. 

When children are parented in this way, they might feel loved and exhibit confidence but could struggle, long-term, with self-discipline, boundaries and responsibility. 

Uninvolved parenting

This style of parenting does what it says on the tin. Parents show little interest in children’s lives or activities, set few expectations or limits and are generally emotionally unavailable. 

When children are parented in this way, there is a higher chance of them experiencing emotional difficulties, attachment challenges as well as poorer academic and social outcomes. 

The way we parent, respond to our children and ultimately guide them can impact on their emotional wellbeing, behaviour and development. That is why it is important to spend some time reflecting on how we parent as well as exploring how research insights can shape our approach to raising children. 

Is there an optimal parenting style?

Research studies consistently support the idea that an authoritative parenting style is better for children across the board. The children of authoritative parents are more likely to be competent and capable, they get on well with others, experience less anxiety and depression as adolescents and are less likely to take harmful risks.

This is a parenting style generally referred to as ​‘love with limits’ by eminent psychiatrists such as Professor Stephen Scott. Authoritative parenting is steeped in love, but also boundaries and behavioural expectations. In an authoritative home, psychological safety is cultivated through familiar routines, consistency of approach and openness to dialogue. In this home, parents are attuned to children’s feelings and emotions, play features highly within family life, sleep is prioritised and learning valued.

It isn’t always easy, is it?

There are many barriers to being an authoritative parent, notably feeling stressed, unsupported, tired or overwhelmed. Family life is busy and setting boundaries might feel impossible! Digital authoritative parenting is one of the toughest jobs in the world. We know we don’t want them on screens the whole time, but sometimes we need them to be occupied! When we do set rules, it can be hard to stick to them. Every parent on the planet has grappled with these everyday challenges and can struggle to know what is best. 

Authoritative parenting isn’t about getting it right all the time. It’s about intention rather than perfection, returning to connection, consistency and care, even on the hardest days. Small, steady choices matter, and moments of repair can be just as powerful as moments of calm. When parents reflect, learn and adapt, they are already strengthening their children’s emotional security and resilience.

In the upcoming Parentkind webinar on 3rd February 2026 we’ll focus on parenting styles. I hope to reassure parents and provide practical tools that can help embed an authoritative parenting style into family life, which promises the best outcomes for children and young people.