How to help your child build their confidence through challenge
Image: A secondary school-age boy getting ready to go kayaking.
That was the key message from our latest Parentkind webinar, Beyond the comfort zone: Building young people’s confidence through challenge, where we were joined by Dr John Allan, Head of Impact and Breakthrough Learning at PGL Beyond and a leading expert in positive psychology, resilience and outdoor learning.
Throughout the session, Dr Allan explored why helping children step beyond what feels familiar, in safe and supported ways, can have a lasting impact on their confidence, wellbeing and resilience.
Helping shy children become more confident
One of the questions submitted ahead of the webinar asked:
“What tips do you have for helping shy children become more confident?”
Dr Allan’s answer centred on an important reassurance: confidence isn’t about changing who your child is. Instead, it’s about gradually expanding what they feel comfortable doing.
Rather than expecting children to take giant leaps, parents can focus on creating small, manageable challenges that stretch confidence little by little. Whether that’s ordering their own food in a café, introducing themselves to someone new, helping plan a family walk or trying an unfamiliar activity, each success becomes another building block for future confidence.
The key is finding the balance between challenge and support. Children grow most when they feel encouraged without being overwhelmed.
Why challenge matters
During the webinar, Dr Allan explained that resilience isn’t a personality trait – it’s something children develop through experience.
Whether it’s learning a new skill, working as part of a team, solving problems or overcoming setbacks, these moments help children build the emotional toolkit they’ll draw on throughout life.
Parents don’t need to create extraordinary adventures for this to happen. Everyday opportunities can be just as valuable. Exploring a local park, building a den, navigating a new walking route or encouraging children to solve small problems independently all help develop resilience, curiosity and self-belief. Cultivating a family culture where failure isn’t something to be feared but rather celebrated is one of the most important things you can do for your children.
The power of outdoor adventure
Dr Allan highlighted the unique role that outdoor experiences can play in children’s development.
Nature offers opportunities that classrooms often can’t, encouraging children to work together, adapt to new situations and discover what they’re capable of through hands-on experiences. Research consistently shows that spending time outdoors supports physical health, emotional wellbeing and confidence, while helping children develop important life skills that transfer into school, friendships, the workplace and later life.
As Dr Allan reminded us, confidence doesn’t come from avoiding challenge. It grows when children realise they can face something unfamiliar, receive support when they need it and come out the other side feeling more capable than before.
This webinar was made possible with the support of PGL, the outdoor adventure experts.
If you couldn’t join us live, or you’d like to revisit the practical advice and expert insights shared during the session, you can watch the webinar recording on demand. It’s packed with reassuring, evidence-informed guidance and plenty of ideas to help your child build confidence this summer and beyond. Find it in our Ultimate summer adventure pack for parents — a great resource for everything you’ll need to help your family enjoy the summer holidays, one adventure at a time.
-
Raising a child is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but it also comes with significant financial responsibilities. From nursery fees and school uniforms to music lessons, university tuition and first cars, the costs can add up quickly. -
10 tips for talking to your child about wellbeing
13 February 2026Children’s Mental Health Week is a great reminder that conversations about wellbeing matter all year round. Whether your child is in primary school or navigating secondary school, talking openly can help them feel understood, supported and more confident asking for help.
