A Parent’s Guide to Results Day: Part One
Parentkind colleagues with children who recently took exams, or for one younger member of the team, who went through the process within the last few years, met up to discuss dos and don’ts, best practice, and areas where they feel they need more support. Their experience has been gathered for these blogs that offer parents moral support, guidance, and maybe a route through what can be an ordeal.
When?
In England, Wales and Northern Ireland:
- Thursday 17th August for A level, T Level and Level 3 VTQs
- Thursday 24th August for GCSE and Level 2 VTQ
In Scotland:
- Tuesday 8th August 2023 for SQAs
Waiting
The wait between taking exams and finding out the results has taken months, and many find it agonising. There is often the initial flood of relief when students take a well-earned summer break from education after finishing exams. But as the time draws closer, worrying about results day can leave some young people unable to settle to using their time usefully.
Keep it low-key
Try not to talk about results day too much. If your child brings it up, then it’s a good time to talk about the logistics or offer reassurances. Some young people prefer not to talk about what’s worrying them. We can all look back and see with the wisdom of hindsight that exam results are not the be-all and end-all, and lots of doors remain open for young people. But when you’re going through it, it doesn’t feel like that. And well-meaning efforts to put things into perspective can end up seeming like an attempt to belittle their experience and achievements.
Remember you’re not alone
Young people and their parents across the country are going through the same wait, and it can be an anxious time. Talking to others in the same boat can help to keep everything in perspective.
Be prepared
This is perhaps the most important factor. It came up repeatedly in the conversation between Parentkind colleagues. Have a Plan A, Plan B and Plan C. Know what to suggest if their grades are better or worse than predicted. If they have to stay in education to retake exams, be savvy about knowing for how long they can access education before needing to pay tuition fees and accrue debts.
“Parents need to be equipped with information so that if their child doesn’t get the expected grades, they know what the other options are.”
Help your child to prepare
While there’s already a lot of pressure on parents to help their child work out all of the credible options based on best- and worst-case scenarios ahead of time, it can also be a huge adjustment for young people, especially if they have just turned 18 and become an adult. If they proceed to higher education, will they be living away from home for the first time? Do they know how to manage their finances and budget for essentials? Can they prepare meals? Will they be able to find their way around a large town or busy city? If you won’t be there on a daily basis for them, then they need to know the basics of standing on their own two feet, and worldly wisdom doesn’t necessarily follow automatically from high academic success.
Don’t underestimate the continuing impact of the pandemic
Some young people getting results this year have had less careers advice and no work experience. Nor will A‑level or equivalent students have sat their GCSEs because exams were cancelled for their year group. Recent cohorts have been uniquely disadvantaged in comparison to their peers. Recognising any knowledge or experience gaps and understanding how this impacts your child is essential.
“My son had no careers support or work experience because of Covid. As parents, there’s no guidance. There will be a couple of years like this where children’s school experiences have been so negatively impacted by Covid.”
Results day arrives
So much of great parenting is unsung at the time. Perhaps, a couple of decades later when your child goes through the same post-exams process for their own child, you’ll receive a belated but still satisfying ‘thank you’ for all of the support you gave them all those years earlier that they’ve only just noticed. Understandably, young people can get caught up in the moment and have fixed ideas about how they want to process learning which grades they have been awarded. If they’re collecting GCSE results, they’re much likelier to want parental support on the day and may be relying on you for a life back and forth!
“At the school, know who to contact yourself. Don’t rely on your child going to the right teacher and asking the right questions.”
Be there or give them space
If they want you to be around, clear your diary if you can. Some of Parentkind’s parents have booked the day off work even if just to be on standby. Those collecting A‑level or equivalent results may drive themselves, or arrange a lift with friends. One of our mums said she waited nervously at home, but then heard that her son had done well in his A‑levels via a text from his best friend’s mum, who happened to be at the school!
“It’s bizarre that somebody else’s mum knew his A‑level results before we did. But I was glad to get a text from his friend’s mum congratulating him, so at least I could stop biting my nails. When he finally came home and spilled the beans he said he wanted to tell us in person!”
Don’t compare or compete
This may apply equally to your child’s friends or older siblings. Everyone’s journey is unique and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Flattering or unflattering comparisons can lead to bad feelings or conflict. Keep the focus on how your child has done, how they are feeling and what their future looks like.
